Goodbye 2018

* non-beauty content ahead*

2018 is coming to an end, and that last day is today!
I'm happily to say that it’s been a pretty important one for me, I hope it has been the same for you guys, but if not, I wish 2019 to be better for y’all.

Yep, I'm still alive - despite all the dark thoughts, anxious-filled days and nights, self doubts - nevertheless 2018 has been a year of healing. When you're a pessimist like me, it's easy to see all the bad things that's happened in your life whilst challenging to remember all the good. You really have to force yourself to acknowledge and accept that life isn't so gloom up black and white, instead there's always a rainbow shining through after each rain. I'm thankful and grateful for all the specks of rainbow colours in my world - my close friends that have always checked up on me in my darkest times, family that continue to shelter me, colleagues that support me and you guys sending well wishes through instagram. For always reminded me that my life is worth living, even if I'm hurting.

In terms of social media, I have been the most inactive (ever since I've started blogging and all) on all my social media platforms - be it Snapchat, Instagram, Youtube, Facebook and Weibo. I took time off to prioritise my mental health. It has been a rocky one this year (which I will dwell on further down this post). Besides that, I was juggling with full time work, went back to uni to study part time, slotting in volunteering sessions in whenever I could (be it at temple with Young Adult Division and organising an Australian-wide vegetarian campaign namely "Be Kind Be Vego") and after all that, I tried to squeeze in time to catch up with my friends. It sure was hard to balance all and it had left me all drained and tired this year. I can most say, eventhough I took a "break" from social media, yet my life was still busy and hustled non-stop.

I used to do New Year's Resolutions every year, but for 2019, I decided not to, because I realised when there are too much expectations you put for yourself really sometimes do get over-whelming, and at the end of the year, I would be disappointed if I had not tick off some of the checklist points I made at the start.
So instead of that, 2 nights ago, I couldn't sleep (insomnia has been a real pain-in-the-butt this year - more on another post) then an idea stroke, took my pen out and scribbled 1.5 pages long of the lessons I've learned in 2018. Then posted on my Instagram stories and did a poll whether you guys would like to read, I've got plenty of "yes" replies so yep here they are!

10 lessons I've learned in 2018

1. Don't compare your life journey to anyone else.
• I've been told by so many people this year that I need to stop comparing and stop putting myself down. Stay in my own lane I was told. Comparison is the thief of joy and we all grow at our own pace in our own timing. As long as you're happy, this is what matters the most. We are all unique! You don't have to have it all figured out. Keep exploring. Don't settle. Do plenty of soul-searching.
• There's no one you need to impress but yourself.
2. Let go of expectations on others.
• Expectations hinder the fostering of healthy relationships. This year I've learned to stop expecting someone to do, to act, to be in a certain way or to live up to an image that we have portrayed onto them that doesn't even exist. And through practicing this, I haven't been disappointed or gotten upset. Even better, I had tapped in to more inner peace and love.
3. No one is YOU and that is your power.
• "You are important. You are appreciated. You are you." - this was one of my quote pages I have in my bujo. By repeating this mantra over and over again before sleeping has lifted the following morning vibes. Stop shrinking yourself to make others feel comfortable. Be who you are, as long as you're happy.
• Let go of people pleasing and confidently walk forward knowing who you are
• Let go of judging who you are.
• 2018, you showed me that I have so much courage than I ever gave myself credit for.
4. Self-love is the answer to everything.
• When you are kind to yourself, you are kind to all. When you truly love and accept yourself, free of any judgement for who you are in this moment then you love and accept others just as they are. From this, I know I won't settle for less. I've stopped rejecting myself. I feel completely worthy. I have allowed myself to blossom radiantly.
5. Listen to your intuition.
• Your inner guidance always knows best. Focus on growth, not perfection.
6. You attract the energy that you vibrate at.
• Spread the positivity around. If you can't change your surrounding, your environment, your circumstance/s, then change the way you perceive things. Focus on positive energy and that is what you will attract because like attracts like!
• 2018, you connected me with so many incredible new friends and strangers who have all played a transformative role in my life and for that I am forever grateful.
7. Everyone enters in your life for a reason.
• Though not everyone is meant to stay. As Frank Ocean once said, "We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson." Some people come into your life to test you, some to teach you, some to use you, and some to bring out the very best in you.
8. Don't depend on others or external factors for your happiness.
• You create your own happiness. Nothing external defines you. And the only validation we need is from ourselves. Being vulnerable is the key to freedom. Have the courage to slow down, if that means happiness in the long term run. I have learnt this year that life is not all about hustling. We are allowed to stop and rest. Allow yourself to be.
9. Invest in your growth and self-development on a daily basis.
• 2018, you showed me that there is always room to deepen my understanding of myself and the world and that it can be painful and crappy and amazing and liberating all at the same time. 
• You also showed me that manifestations do come true when you put your mind and heart into them.
• You showed me that saying yes to well-being might piss others off but you do you gurl
• I've been bullet journalling since August and it has helped me so so so much in prepping things visually. Bullet journal aka bujo in my opinion, is very therapeutic and helps to stretch your creative mind, I had sit down for several nights with no urge in reaching to my phone, to just bujo. Another thing why I like about bujo is when you had schedule something today off-the-cuff or if it’s already been scheduled for months, when you write down the task in pen, it makes you enter the task with intention and visualisation. When you have more anticipation for the day’s events, you enter them with intention and you visualise them going well.
10. Trust in the power of the universe.
• As mentioned earlier, this year was full of transitions and adjustments I had to accept, from balancing my working life; to study, to volunteer, to socialising, to family time. Overall, I guess I had handled it pretty well, despite some breakdowns in the way but I think I have emerged stronger than before. And now I know, in order to come out on top next year as well, I should still stay calm and learn how to breathe deep and let things go; especially the things which are beyond my control.
• Miracles grow where gratitude is planted.

And that is it!

2019 is the beginning of anything you want. Forget the bad times of 2018. You have 12 new chapters and 365 new episodes. And remember you are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream. Here's to another year of more living and onto an abundant 2019!

Ciao!

Love,

Melon xoxo